Finding Light on Valentine's Day: A Journey Through Grief to Small Joys

Valentine's Day arrives again, bringing many emotions that many of us find ourselves navigating.

Some time ago, in my writing class,

I wrote about the raw pain of grieving during this holiday - the struggle to face a day dedicated to love when your heart carries such profound loss.

Today, I want to share how that journey has evolved. The path has not become easy, but I've learned to find small moments of light even in the shadows.

The Shift in Perspective

Time can change so much, yet some days, like today, it feels like time stands still.

I've discovered that healing, like time, isn't linear. It's more like learning to dance with the waves of grief rather than ignoring or fighting against them.

Some days are still challenging, and that's okay.

What's different now is a better understanding that it's possible to hold moments of grief and joy in the same heart.

Finding Joy in Simple Acts

In the past few years, I've discovered something powerful in the simple act of sharing.

Earlier this week, someone gifted me homemade fudge - a small gesture that brought an unexpected smile.

Instead of keeping it to myself, even if it was delicious, I decided to share it with others.

Each piece shared became more than just a treat; it became a moment of connection, a tiny bridge between hearts.

Small Acts of Kindness: A Two-Way Healing

We all know that being helpful to others, even in small ways, creates ripples of healing that flow both ways.

Whether it's sharing a treat, offering a listening ear, or simply being present for someone else's struggle, these actions remind us of our shared humanity and our capacity to make a difference, even while carrying our own pain.

Embracing Where We Are

Even so, there are those days in which I still have to dig deep to find hope or joy.

And that's perfectly okay.

What matters isn't that we're always intense or healing but gentle with ourselves through every phase of the journey.

Valentine's Day may never be easy, but it may become a day when we celebrate all forms of love - including the love we show ourselves by honoring our journey, exactly where we are.

Moving Forward with Grace

As we navigate this Valentine's Day, I invite you to join me in:

• Acknowledging your feelings without judgment

• Finding small ways to connect with others that don't strain your emotional or financial resources

• Practicing self-compassion when difficult emotions arise

• Recognizing that helping others can be a form of healing

• Celebrating the small moments of joy when they appear

Remember, there's no "right" way to experience this day.

Whether you're feeling stronger than last year or finding today particularly challenging, your journey is valid.

Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is acknowledge where we are and continue moving forward, one small step at a time.

There is also…

The Science of Connection and Healing

What I've learned through my journey is profound: when we help others, even in the smallest ways, we create ripples of healing that touch those we support and ourselves and honor those we've lost.

This isn't just a nice idea - it's supported by science, particularly in the fascinating realm of quantum physics.

Quantum particle entanglement shows us that particles, once connected, remain influenced by each other regardless of distance.

This scientific principle mirrors what many of us experience in grief and healing - our connections transcend physical boundaries.

When we open our hearts to help others, despite our pain, we create new connections that can help repair the fabric of our wounded hearts.

A Gentle Reminder

Love takes many forms, and self-love might be the most important Valentine we can give ourselves.

Today, I encourage you to be as gentle with yourself as you would be with a dear friend. Share if you can, rest if you need to, and remember you're not alone on this journey.

Whatever this day brings for you, know that your feelings are valid, your journey matters, and there's no timeline for healing.

Sometimes, the most profound acts of love are the quiet ones we offer ourselves: permission to feel, space to heal, and grace to grow at our own pace.

Finding Community in Unexpected Places

In my journey, I've discovered two remarkable communities that offer fresh perspectives on navigating loss and finding connections.

I would like to share these with you.

They are below.

Option B: Building Resilience Together

Option B, created by Sheryl Sandberg after the sudden loss of her husband, offers something unique - a space where grief meets hope and resilience.

The name comes from Sandberg's realization that while Option A (life with her husband) was no longer possible, she could work on making the most of Option B. The community provides:

• Personal stories that help us feel less alone

• Research-backed resilience exercises

• Specific resources for different types of loss

• Practical advice for supporting others through grief

• Groups that connect people facing similar challenges

Option B is unique because it focuses on building resilience while honoring our losses. It's not about "moving on" but finding ways to move forward while carrying our loved ones in our hearts.

Please see below how to access Option B

• Visit www.optionb.org/groups to find your community

• Start with their "Building Resilience" course

• Join their special holiday support sessions

• Participate in their moderated online forums

• Access their library of coping resources

The Dinner Party: Reimagining Grief Support

The Dinner Party takes a refreshingly different approach to grief support. Created by and for young adults who have experienced significant loss, it transforms the traditional support group model into something more organic and natural - gathering around a table and sharing food and stories. While they began with in-person dinner parties, they now offer:

• Virtual gatherings for those who prefer or need remote connection

• Regular meetups that feel more like friend gatherings than therapy sessions

• A space where difficult conversations can happen naturally

• Connections with others who "get it" without explanation

• A community that understands grief doesn't have an expiration date

Please see below how to access The Dinner Party:

The Dinner Party:

• Begin at www.thedinnerparty.org/join

• Choose between virtual or in-person gatherings

• Connect with hosts in your area

• Find tables specific to your loss experience

• Participate in their holiday support programs

Supporting Each Other Through Holidays

Both communities offer specific support during holidays like Valentine's Day:

• Option B hosts special workshops on navigating romantic holidays

• The Dinner Party organizes "Un-Valentine's" gatherings

• Both provide resources for creating new traditions

• Communities share strategies for self-care during difficult dates

• Members support each other through anniversary reactions

What I particularly appreciate about both these communities is their understanding that healing happens in a community and that sometimes the most powerful support comes from those walking similar paths. They remind us that while our journeys are unique, we don't have to walk them alone. Just as quantum particles remain connected across space and time, our kindness and support create an interconnected web of healing that touches us all.